http://danawry.buzznet.com/user/journal/ en-us http://danawry.buzznet.com/user/journal/2824911/8808/ Buzznet danawry 2008-08-08T17:12:00Z http://danawry.buzznet.com/user/journal/2774861/critical/ Buzznet danawry 2008-07-31T01:40:00Z http://danawry.buzznet.com/user/journal/2618521/cant-hold-star-hand/ Buzznet danawry 2008-07-03T00:20:00Z http://danawry.buzznet.com/user/journal/2618511/caught/
but this one year has changed me so much, from every angle: physically; emotionally; mentally; spiritually. and what hurts the most is not that i don't believe in what i used to, but that i'm not sure what i believe in. like i've said before, not knowing scares me. i hate the unknown; i'm sure, at heart, we all fear it. despite the cluttering mess on my desk and nightstand and in my car, i like being organized. i like charting a course. adventures scare me. and if this is a journey of some sort, this is the part where i'm hopelessly lost...i'm waiting for the eureka moment, but so far all i can do is stare at the map in confusion.

i am so lucky to have people who love me enough to tell me so, in so many words, or in so few, or maybe with silence. but ultimately, i have to find my own way.

what went wrong?

i'm losing my grip on religion. i don't feel like organized religion anymore. i've almost had it with money--money spent on new carpet and new stained glass windows along one wall and a new cross at the front of the sanctuary. i'm tired of not knowing what's right and wrong in God's eyes? where is the line drawn, and who is telling me the wrong answers? is there such thing as destiny, fate? do we have our own lives planned ahead of us? is there no way we can escape the storyline? or did God just create us and set us with free will? true free will; we are masters of our own lives--God just watching over us? i know i'm a horrible sinner. how much more "forgiveness" can i ask of this God before He gets tired of me asking and tells me i'm no longer truly faithful?

this is all too much for me. that and my wavering grades in school and my inability to be reliable makes me want to break the stupid mirror i've been looking into every time i decide to "reflect upon myself"--the lights above have been tricking me.

i'm at the edge of a knife. i could fall one way or the other.

so i'll just take one step and...fall forward.]]> Buzznet danawry 2008-06-12T00:17:00Z http://danawry.buzznet.com/user/journal/723451/admissions/ hypocrisy unrequted infatuation writing Buzznet danawry 2007-07-31T00:21:00Z http://danawry.buzznet.com/user/journal/723251/as-such/ so sorry anberlin & ff5 couldn't make it. understandable. but you guys totally missed out.
completely sunburnt. my face is peeling. and there is an unusual and shockingly undesirable area of unburnt/untanned forehead where my bangs were.
i realized a few things:

stay hydrated.
drink all your water before going into the mosh pit. (this leaves both your hands free for clapping and such)
only go into mosh pit in evening shows. sit on the hill for afternoon concerts. otherwise YOU WILL MELT.
stay hydrated.
cookie crisp cereal is better w/o the milk. :)
head to the showers early.
if water pressure in shower is low, DON'T WASH YOUR HAIR YET. it'll probably run out of water.
stay hydrated.
braids are cute. on me. femhawks are for the brave and crazy few. like the chick from superchic[k]. and emily.
jon foreman is crazy onstage.
adding a catwalk into the mosh pit from the stage to a small circular stage that rises really high is a crowd pleaser. so is a spinning drumset. way to go, newsboys.
tobymac will always do encore songs. he did about ten last year. he only did two this year.
newsboys are better closers than tobymac.
relient k needs a better set. with more new songs.
never. ever. EVER. enter the mosh to a project 86 concert. unless you are a serious mosher, you will probably be killed or gravely injured.
God is good. He loves me. He loves everybody, even if they don't think so.
i need to get right with God.
the guy from Ghana WAS IN GHANA, NOT in one of the trailers!
you absolutely canNOT NOT enter the mosh for David Crowder. as a rule.
every single freaking band seems to be newly obssessed with Guitar Hero II. especially switchfoot. and david crowder, who used a controller in his concert.
stay hydrated.
having a hairstylist camping with you makes for an interesting week.
chapped lips aren't good. chapstick is helpful. i'm not good at things like chemistry.
if God is tugging at your heart, don't hold back.
support a child through Compassion Int'l.
you are able to do the above. even if you're a poor college student. like me.
it's the greatest feeling knowing you can change the world, if only you'd cross the line to do so.

most inspirational four days of your life.

word.

-d]]> camping christianity compassion concerts creation 07 music water Buzznet danawry 2007-07-30T23:52:00Z http://danawry.buzznet.com/user/journal/681571/she-said-mhm/ creation fun gorge Buzznet danawry 2007-07-24T23:34:00Z http://danawry.buzznet.com/user/journal/653111/shadow-proves-sunshine/ switchfoot Buzznet danawry 2007-07-20T15:18:00Z http://danawry.buzznet.com/user/journal/619951/so-number-5/ Buzznet danawry 2007-07-15T16:57:00Z http://danawry.buzznet.com/user/journal/607301/change-weather/ Buzznet danawry 2007-07-13T15:59:00Z